It’s Braver to be Clark Kent Than Superman

As many of you may know, I teach writing workshops—locally and online—and coach those who want to write and publish a book. I also coach nice girls (and guys) who are sick of feeling trapped by their inability to tell the truth. Who want to learn how to draw healthy boundaries, and say no.

A while back, I recognized an interesting similarity between my two sets of clients.  Writers, like nice girls and guys, often find themselves paralyzed by the fear of telling the truth, of revealing themselves for who they really are on paper.  This fear often translates into writers’ block and/or boring or confusing prose.

I also discovered that memoir writers, in particular, are often the product of dysfunctional families.  Like nice girls, they were taught from childhood not to reveal their family secrets. They were told, “Don’t air dirty laundry.”  They were discouraged from telling the truth even amongst family members.  Even to themselves. And this lying caused them an awful lot of pain.  Even if it DID give them GREAT material to work with.

I believe that we are all as sick as our secrets.

I believe that in order to get what we want most in life—connection with others—we have to have the courage to tell the truth, regardless of who will disapprove. We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  We have to risk opening ourselves up to criticism.

To own your own opinions, your own story, is to set yourself free. It is the foundation of superhuman power.

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Everything changed in my life when I stopped hiding who I really am/was. The world opened up and I grew to approve of myself, even though I sometimes put others off.

Putting yourself out there is the best exercise there is for standing in your own power.

And there is nobody who speaks to this fact better than Glennon Doyle Menton in this video. Take the time to watch this.  It’s just so beautiful.

The Cost of Postponing The Inevitable

Once upon a time I was an aimless girl who twisted herself into a little pretzel to win over a man. He was a decent man, with his own complexes and flaws, who led me down the primrose path into the Islamic Republic of Iran. This did not go well. As with any episode inContinue Reading

My Husband, The Narcissist

Dear Mimi, Thank you for your comment on this Youtube video. You claim that Walt is a 100% narcissist. The thing I’ve noticed about defensiveness, which is what your criticism stirred, is that it always kicks in when I detect an element of truth in what’s been said. You’re right, Mimi, sometimes Walt comes acrossContinue Reading

10 Random Things I Totally Recommend

I know this is out of the ordinary, me recommending anything other than books, but every once in a while I get all excited about new stuff I’ve discovered.  I can’t believe my good luck, and I want to shout the news from the rooftops, even if no one else on the planet really givesContinue Reading

How You Learn To Trust

Post by BuzzFeed Video.Continue Reading

Be. Here. Now.

I watch my mother get ready for work while I’m visiting her in Medora, North Dakota.  At 76, she spends the summer months selling expensive trinkets in some tourist trap at Teddy Roosevelt National Park.  Always an early bird, she’s out of the sack by 6 a.m. She doesn’t have to be at work forContinue Reading

There Will Be Blood, And Obstacles

I started working on a blog this morning while overlooking the pasture.  Halfway in, I realized I’d written the very same piece a year ago. Which reminded me of something I once read:  photographers have only one picture, writers have only one story. Have you put your “totally unrealistic” dream on the back burner becauseContinue Reading

The Ski Patrol Is Not Coming

It’s been one of those weeks. Who are we kidding, it’s been one of those months. What with this broken ankle and not being able to run, I’ve become seriously sulky.  I’ve found myself irritated that others can’t seem to give me what I need.  No one can make me feel better. Sure, I couldContinue Reading

55 Ways to Take Care of Yourself When You’re Crazy Busy

I ran into this post a while back.  It’s written by another writer and life coach named Marthe.  You can read her stuff and learn all about her right here.  Frankly, being something of an anxious accomplishment whore, I pretty much suck at relaxation. It’s something I’ve really had to work on.  I’ve spent wayContinue Reading

The State I Got Myself Into On the Way to Medora

I just flew out to visit my Mom in Medora, North Dakota.  Every summer for the last, I don’t know, decade?, she’s worked at Teddy Roosevelt National Park. She’s got a crew of girlios to hang around with, a bunch of grannies who travel the country in Winnebago campers.  I suppose it’s pretty cool thatContinue Reading