We make commitments to others in order to appear nice, and then we kick ourselves when they are inconsiderate enough to take us at our word. When I lived in Iran I often found myself irritated by tarof, traditional Iranian etiquette. Stopping by someone’s home unexpectedly, as is the custom there, my husband and I… Continue Reading
Category Archives: Cultural Issues
Six Qualities to Consider When Choosing a Mate
I used to think that women, like me, were guilty of being non-selective when it came to choosing a mate. That any warm body that paid us a little attention could end up walking us down the aisle. But lately I’ve been noticing that men–particularly young men, and the recently divorced –are just as susceptible… Continue Reading
The Underbelly of Expatriate Life
When I was young, I fancied myself a global citizen. A Margaret Mead type, who gravitated towards exotic cultures. Impressed with my “intimate” knowledge of obscure peoples, of my ability to hang out in their communities like the team mascot, I turned my nose up at my suburban upbringing. The very people I spent the… Continue Reading
James Dean in Drag
“He’s hypnotized you,” Mom said when I told her I was going to marry the Iranian and move to his country. “Do you have any idea how they treat women in Islamic countries?” I regarded her through narrowed eyes because my mother, who considered Raman noodles foreign, had zero understanding of different cultures. She wasn’t… Continue Reading
Mr. Right
I’m disappearing to a writer’s conference for ten days. So here, because time is not my friend, is a segment from my book The Lost Girls of Shiraz. A draft, but a taste nonetheless. He’s so sure of himself, this man beside me. So comfortable in his own skin, so confidant in his opinions, so… Continue Reading
The Other Half
I’m back at the small confectionary shop in Iran where Hannah, my husband’s niece, and I order frozen noodles. “One of the girls in my study group had a really hard time breaking her hymen on her wedding night, ” Hannah says, staring out the picture window at women in black chadors, girls in school… Continue Reading
The Cost of Selling Your Self
A long time ago, before I had children, my husband took a second wife. We were living in Washington, D.C., not the Islamic Republic of Iran, and I had nothing of real value to lose if I packed up and left. The other woman— an old girlfriend who, last I’d heard, had been languishing in some Connecticut… Continue Reading
Believe the Worst
“You know,” my Iranian boyfriend said one evening as we lay squished together on his twin bed. “I don’t think I’m the kind of man who could ever marry an American. I just wasn’t raised that way. I always believed that one day I would return home and marry one of my cousins from the… Continue Reading
Run For Your Life
In grade school, I was one of those kids. The kind no one picked for their team. Instead, I lurked on the sidelines with Arlene, a fragile girl who made osteoporosis look sturdy. And Joanne, a chubby thing with an attitude problem. The trouble with me was that I refused to run. Instead, I galloped. Like a horse. In my teens,… Continue Reading