Category Archives: Self-Esteem

A Man Who Will Bring You Coffee In Bed

In honor of Valentine’s day, one of those holidays that can dredge up a lot of fear and sadness in otherwise stable human beings, I thought I’d bring this piece back. From an e-mail I received: I just went through a breakup again on Saturday. My 34th birthday. There were many things wrong. Mostly, yetContinue Reading

Are You A Beggar?

I‘ve been talking to some women lately–women freshly divorced, or unhappy in a job– who feel like they’re all washed up.  Done. Because they’re too old. See, they’ve got settle for crumbs, slum a little, because who in their right mind would want them?! I’m talking 50-year-olds!!  So I thought it was high time IContinue Reading

The Meek Might Inherit the Earth, But Not the Promotion

I have a coaching client named Bill.  No surprises here, Bill’s a people-pleaser, a real nice guy.  You’d love him. (He’s single now, so if anybody out there is looking for a nice guy, let me know.) Once upon a time, Bill was working as an accountant at a mid-sized corporation.  He had his eyesContinue Reading

I Can Not Belive I Have to Define This!

Somebody asked me the other day what I mean when I say, “I teach women how to cut the nice girl crap.”   It dawns on me, now, that I need to be more specific because ignorant certain people don’t understand the expression “nice girl,” or recognize their associated crap, the stuff they should cutContinue Reading

Some Dead Guy’s Formula For Self-Esteem

Chemists like equations. Chemist that I am, I’m going to give you an equation I learned very late in life. Listen up, because this one affects every aspect of your life. Self-esteem= Success/pretensions William James, the father of psychology, came up with this formula in1890. Sure, the language is a little outdated, but whatever, I’mContinue Reading

Why We Put Up With Outrageous Shit

Walt and I are giving a talk one evening when I meet a woman who is interested in exploring a coaching relationship.  She’s impressed by the way Walt and I interact as a couple, our obvious love and respect for one another, and she wants “a look under the hood” so she can create aContinue Reading

The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem

When I was younger, I used to look to others, mostly men, to rescue me. I was convinced that, if left to my own devices, I would make some horrible mistake and screw up my life permanently.  I had no idea who I was, what I wanted or needed, or how I felt about muchContinue Reading

The Words I Wish I’d Heard Upon Graduating From College

I love this time of year.  All those motivating commencement speeches cropping up on the Internet.  I can’t remember a single word that was said when I graduated with my B.S. in 1985.  I do, however, remember the commencement speech at Harvard when I received my Master’s Degree eight years ago.  Primarily because the youngContinue Reading

What I’m Reading Now

Here in Ireland I read incessantly.  No sooner than I finish one book, I scan the bookshelves and grab another.  For the last ten days I’ve been in total bliss, until I ran into this little number, which really pulled me up short. Walt must have bought Money, A Love Story by Kate Northrup becauseContinue Reading

My Date With a Serial Killer

I received a wonderful comment a few weeks back, and now I’d love to take the time to respond properly. You’ve shared that you met Walt on Match. So, please also share how you maintained the endurance to keep going and not lose hope from one stereotypical online dating site disappointment after another. Surely you’veContinue Reading