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Here's what I learned TOTALLY by accident. Personal story sells.

Writing

Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

January 12, 2013

Do you think people are chosen for awards and recognition because they shine so brightly the world can’t possibly ignore them? That they get plucked, in all of their magnificence, from total obscurity and dropped center stage?

Do you think the golden few that get the grants, or the prizes, or the big gigs, or the publications are far more gifted, or privileged, or connected than you?

Do you think you need to have all your ducks in a row, or work for years to develop a reputation, or follow all the rules before someone out there will toss you a bone?

Awhile back I was attending an awards ceremony for regional authors when I spotted an odd, awkward girl I’d met the year before seated on the panel of judges.  There she was, an unpublished 24-year-old with eye contact issues, evaluating the merits of some serious writers.

Of course me being me, I asked her how she’d landed on that panel. She happily explained that she’d been blogging for several years, and interning at a city magazine, and listening to people talk about various opportunities in the local publishing arena.  She’d simply picked up the phone one day, called one of these folks, and volunteered her services.

I’m always amazed at the sort who wake up one morning and decide they’re going to do something they’ve never done before.  No real experience, or proven expertise, or impressive qualifications, they just throw themselves into the mix.

I’m not sure if it’s confidence, or naivete.  Perhaps it’s a combination of both.

My girlfriend Beth had never considered herself a looker, but one day she decided, for whatever reason, to compete in a beauty pageant.  She filled out an application, read the rules, and several months later placed runner up in the Mrs. Connecticut competition.

One of my coaching clients, Kriste, talked with me about her desire to become a mommy blogger.  With no writing background, or obvious audience, she began submitting pieces to a site she follows and, viola, she’s a regular guest contributor. (I took a peak at her post the other day and she had a hell of a lot more comments than I. So get cracking people, I have a reputation to protect.)

I can’t tell you the number of gutsy people I know who have taken a personal success, or a burning passion and turned it into a viable, moneymaking business.  Average people who got sick of nine-to-five jobs that paid for shit, or got laid off in the down economy.  They bought themselves a domain name, learned how to build out a site, and held themselves out as weight-loss experts, search engine optimizers, online magazine editors, virtual assistants, media consultants, and confidence coaches, just to name a few.

An online guru I follow named Laura Roeder, explained how she got named one of The Top 100 Entrepreneurs Under 30 Ready for this? She submitted an application. In other words, nobody picked her needle out of a freaking haystack.

It was my coach, Kristin Thompson, who pushed my ass onto a stage farrrrr before I thought I was ready.  She said, “If you’re going to fill workshops, and build a coaching business, you will never do it sitting in your pajamas on your couch.”  Thanks to her incessant nagging, I learned to pick up the phone, call coordinators, and get my talks booked in lots of venues.

I had to overcome, by the way, The Impostor Syndrome:  that fear of being discovered as someone who does not know what she is doing or does not belong.

I have no doubt everyone I’ve mentioned thus far felt the same way.

But my favorite story of electing yourself for the position, of just throwing your raggedy hat into the ring and seeing what happens, is the one about the Australian ultra-runner Cliff Young. Honestly, you’ve got to see this clip to believe it!

 

Here are a few points I’d like to leave you with:

  • Elect yourself
  • “Winners” aren’t chosen at random, they apply for the job
  • If you don’t ask, the answer is always no
  • The pizza deliveryman will not show up at your door bearing an invitation
  • Opportunities will rarely fall in your lap, no matter how much you deserve them
  • You get what you negotiate; not what you deserve
  • Ask yourself, WHY NOT ME?
  • Getting your foot in the door is only the beginning.  Then you’ve got to do the work
  • When you think you don’t have what it takes, that you simply don’t belong, think of Cliff
So go on.  What are you waiting for?  Get out there and nab that bone.

20 Comments

  • Great blog, and not just because you mentioned me in it! 🙂 Seriously, THIS is the turning point. When you realize that you must rescue yourself, elect yourself, champion yourself.

    For my clients, I call it “make your own breaks!”

    You don’t need to be discovered, you need to discover yourself, create the opportunities, and show the world how you want to show up and serve.

    Great points Ann! You’re a rock star!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      And you, Gloria Estefan, taught me the benefit of seriously good mentorship. The rescue stuff is so Disney. The idea that someone is going to discover you at the malt shop is so 30’s.

  • Great blog, and not just because you mentioned me in it! 🙂 Seriously, THIS is the turning point. When you realize that you must rescue yourself, elect yourself, champion yourself.

    For my clients, I call it “make your own breaks!”

    You don’t need to be discovered, you need to discover yourself, create the opportunities, and show the world how you want to show up and serve.

    Great points Ann! You’re a rock star!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      And you, Gloria Estefan, taught me the benefit of seriously good mentorship. The rescue stuff is so Disney. The idea that someone is going to discover you at the malt shop is so 30’s.

  • Mia says:

    Ann, great kick in the butt! What the hell am I waiting for? Thank you for the humor… the gum boots… and the wisdom!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      The problem is, once you get out there on “the stage”, you’ll be too glorious for words. And then you won’t have time for coffee with the little folks, like me, any more.

  • Mia says:

    Ann, great kick in the butt! What the hell am I waiting for? Thank you for the humor… the gum boots… and the wisdom!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      The problem is, once you get out there on “the stage”, you’ll be too glorious for words. And then you won’t have time for coffee with the little folks, like me, any more.

  • Ann, I am consistently inspired by you to play big and raise the bar. Thank you for that! You completely, totally, brilliantly ROCK!

  • Ann, I am consistently inspired by you to play big and raise the bar. Thank you for that! You completely, totally, brilliantly ROCK!

  • Nadine says:

    Great advice! My favorite mantra is “love everybody, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe.” When I visualize Cliff as inspiration, he’ll be paddling in gum boots rather than running!

    Thanks for this!

  • Nadine says:

    Great advice! My favorite mantra is “love everybody, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe.” When I visualize Cliff as inspiration, he’ll be paddling in gum boots rather than running!

    Thanks for this!

  • Jenny says:

    AND…. 2 and 1/2 years later you have inspired. I was researching the topic “who the hell do you think you are” to write a blog post on my fresh new blog and ran across this post. It’s just what I needed. I have been debating on writing a blog about self development for over a year now…. voila Just the kick in the rear I needed to get me going! Thanks!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      You are so welcome, Jenny. And remember, it’s all one big conversation. You have something valuable to add to it. Love to see your post when you finish it.

  • Jenny says:

    AND…. 2 and 1/2 years later you have inspired. I was researching the topic “who the hell do you think you are” to write a blog post on my fresh new blog and ran across this post. It’s just what I needed. I have been debating on writing a blog about self development for over a year now…. voila Just the kick in the rear I needed to get me going! Thanks!

    • AnnSheybani says:

      You are so welcome, Jenny. And remember, it’s all one big conversation. You have something valuable to add to it. Love to see your post when you finish it.

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